By: General Orlov
Pussy Last Call
“So given we are both drunk as fuck, do you like anal?” to which I got the response that ruined my whole night. Continuing to kiss me she responds, “Yes, but I have to wear a condom or my dick gets dirty.”
And another shot down. At this point I was at least 10 shots of Tequila down, and who knows how many beers, I am to the point that my tie is currently tied to my head. This three roomed apartment filled with at least 30 people was starting to get quite warm. Unfortunately I only knew my 4 friends in the room, all of which were guys. Where the woman at? Then all I hear from 5 feet away is my buddy Mike, “Hey Stephen, another round of pong le’go!”, Fuck. I stumble over to the table, just so I can lose, and hope Mike is either a champ and wins, or will drink my drinks. Of course we lose, get into none of their cups, and Mike goes away to get laid, love my life.
After getting even more shitfaced, I decided no more drinking for the night, a very late decision, but still a decision I made. I started to get into the music, with all the woooomp woooomp and all the sounds that don’t even make sense, that you cant even dance to, you just wait till the drop and have a seizure, you know, the kind of music that gets you laid. Being the tall, lanky, drunk man I am, no facial hair so I seem like a child, I can only imagine how goofy I actual look “dancing” to this kind of music, but I did notice some averagely height young lady continuously making those awkward glances over, so I decide I am going to make my awkward way over. I wish I could say she was gorgeous, had nice curves, very pretty hair, maybe even a cute smile, or ATLEAST had huge tits, sadly I am too drunk to really recall, or even get a good notice of any of that, but she was a girl, and at this point of the night it’s pussy last call.
We started our womp womp dancing, and using all the game I do not have, I got her to continue drinking. The only issue with my game, which there is certainly a lack of, I have to continue drinking to get a few more into her. Funny how when you are drink, or how when it comes to getting pussy in general, every moral fiber, every promise to yourself or others, all goes out the window, just to cum in what could quite possibly be a nasty snatch. Clearly she is drunk enough, she is stumbling. Time to claim a room.
We head over to what looks to be the only vacant room, go inside and lock the door. Claimed. We start to get a little heated, the making out, the neck kissing, the discovering of the other person’s body. She did have pretty solid tits by the way, my hands remember that. Before I could feel my way to her cockpit, she beat me too take a hold of Vlad the Impaler, and went down on me. Very mediocre head, not a fan of teeth by any means, just doesn’t work, but hey at least she is a real woman and swallowed. After this great adventure she, for some ungodly reason, while still having my cum residue in her mouth, thought it would be a good idea for her to venture back to my face, and do the whole grind and kiss thing, thus starting the anal conversation.
So now you noticed, I have technically hooked up with another man, because being drink and horny is a concoction you should never mix. Now that being said, I didn’t actually have sex with her… him…. It? I apologize, that was rude. He just blew me, and that was the end. After it all though he did make me a peanut butter sandwich, so over all he was a very nice lady. I am very glad my first fucked up gender confusing experience was with this handsome young lady.