2014 -- 6.2 (Spring) Fiction

How to Avoid Heartbreak

By Moriah Luiz

Don’t tell anyone that you like him. Hide the fact that you like him. Put on a fake smile and force a laugh if necessary. Do keep yourself guarded. Don’t let him know the truth. Don’t think about him. Don’t look at him. Stop day dreaming about him. Find a hobby to keep you busy so you don’t think about him. Don’t let your mind wander. Stay away from his girlfriend. Don’t talk to his friends. When he talks to you act nonchalant. Laugh at his jokes but only a little. Avoid him in the halls and in the lunch room. If you see him in the halls or in the lunch room look the other way or look busy. Don’t make it obvious that you are avoiding him. Don’t become friends with him. Stay away from events where he might be there. Don’t to go to any events. Don’t go to the football games or the bonfires. Don’t meet his parents. Don’t date him. Don’t date any of his friends. Don’t become friends with his girlfriend. Do focus on school and other things. Do stay home on weekends or have other plans. Do always be busy or have an excuse if he asks you out. Do spend lots of time with your friends and make plans with them. Do spend lots of time with your family. Don’t confront him. Don’t let him confront you. Don’t get a job where he works. Don’t go to the place where he works. Do get a job that’s far away from where he works. Don’t work up front where he can see you if he walks by. Don’t hang out with him. Don’t hang out with his girlfriend or his friends. Don’t get excited when he calls your name. Don’t give him your number. Don’t let him give you his number. Don’t call him. Don’t think about him. Don’t think about him. Don’t think about not thinking about him and just let it go. Think of something else. Do forget about him. Do move on. Don’t develop a crush on someone else. Don’t talk to anybody else. Don’t look at anyone else. Don’t think about anyone else. Don’t become friends with anyone else. Don’t date. Don’t hang out with anybody. Don’t think about dating anyone else. Do find other things to take up your time and to keep you really busy. Do find another hobby. Do be busy all the time. Don’t let your mind wander. Do focus on other things. Do take harder classes with lots of homework and other assignments. Do keep your guard up. Do Follow all of these instructions and do exactly as they say. Don’t forget these instructions. Do make copies and keep one with you at all times. Do prepare for the worst. Do all of this and you might just avoid getting your heartbroken and having your world turned upside down.