I stood on the bridge of my ship, The Katana, wondering what it was exactly that I had just witnessed.
“Go to stealth!” I yelled out. There was little time for wondering now. The explosion of our partner ship, The Air Cutter, was still plainly visible. Of course, the explosion had no sound. The view, however, [...]
“This present is for Gordon,” I said as I handed my nephew his loosely wrapped present. “Be careful. Don’t shake it, you don’t want to hurt it.”
Gordon’s eyes lit up as he took the present and put it down on the floor to open it. Everyone was curious; what had I purchased for Gordon this year? Last year, I [...]
“You know,” David said, “this is illegal in some states.”
“What, gay sex?” Devon asked.
“No,” David said, then kissed Devon, inching closer to him on the ambulance stretcher, “having sex in an ambulance. If I get caught, I’m fucked.”
“Like you wouldn’t like that,” Devon said, sliding his hand across David’s stomach.
Devon worked as a security guard [...]
This isn’t over.
Vultures continue to roost on the turrets of Cinderella’s castle.
For one month—October—we didn’t mind, and we even added a few fake vultures for effect. Our imagineers even managed to overstate the qualities that make a vulture so offensive, eliciting praise from our guests. “So lifelike,” they would say, “so gruesome.” [...]
An old man clings to his cup, his fingers stretching from his thin glove. People walk by as the cup begs, ‘Alms! Alms!’
‘The amount of knowledge Faerwald possesses is too much!’ Col pronounced with authority. ‘He has too much influence over this village! Why should a man who has never stepped a foot outside of home be allowed to counsel our lord?’ As the crowd surrounding Col shouted their sentiments and clanged goblets of beer together, Col [...]
He beat his wife. Yet he still had the gall to go for his morning jogs and wave at me as I stood in the yard with my dog. He’d smile at me, slow and sticky like golden honey. Did he think I couldn’t hear what he did to her in there? We lived in [...]
My cat started barking last Wednesday. At first, my wife and I thought it was rather unique. We invited our neighbors over, they thought it was freaky.
“Honey,” I said, jumping off the sofa, “look at Binky!”
“Holy Shit,” Mary said, watching Binky lift her left hind leg, beginning to piss on [...]
There is a king who rules his land with ruthless tyranny. He taxes his people for most of their wages, while the innocent remain in poverty. Most of the land is parched of water, and the poor people planting their crops are forced to give the food to the king for rations; while he, the [...]
The man straps himself in back of me like a baby harnice. I slide on the goggles over my head as the wind is literally blowing us around inside the plane. I officially hate my husband now. His sick humor lead to a surprise skydiving appointment for my 30th birthday. At this point I am [...]