It’s Not You, It’s Me

 

by Kat Douse

I don’t know just how to tell you

But yesterday when we were

————- engaged

on our boss’s desk

I was whisked away through hallways

of celebrity faces

and bodies

until I settled upon

(insert favorite celebrity here)

I saw into His eyes and

I felt your/His touch and smelled Him/you

and

He and I fought pirates as

you and i fought back noises

He and I rode horseback through an orchard as

you and i rode bareback through an office

and at that moment when I

almost got there (cuz i didn’t –

get

there)

He was who I saw on the insides of my eyelids

and i forgot

we (you and i)

existed

Kat Douse is a current student at SCF, Venice Campus.  She enjoys her exciting career as a barista, and her challenging course load.  She grew up in Brentwood, TN, and relocated to Venice, FL in 2002.  She loves writing, especially poetry, and hopes to continue it for as long as she can.

Don’t Keep Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

By Jay Foulk

Don’t keep

suppressing civil rights

Don’t ask

good people to lie

Don’t tell

of honor

Don’t keep

a lock on the closet

Don’t ask

for silence

Don’t tell

of being one

Don’t keep

the door closed

Don’t ask

for shame

Don’t tell

of the few

Don’t keep

calling it a choice

Don’t ask

nature to change

Don’t tell

of the proud

Don’t keep

Don’t ask

Don’t tell

Jay Foulk is a student at the State College of Florida.

Eternal bliss

 

By: Daniel DeBrun

Telling, revealing what’s on your mind

Intellect, collectively to help you find

Listening, receiving what you have to say

Conception, comprehension of a better day

Think consider regrets of last

Loathing repulsive memories of past

Sugary luscious objects of affection

Hard solid impulses of attraction

Possessed seized ruled by temptation

Bursting exploding feelings of frustration

Submitting wickedness through the years

Owning sustaining your deepest fears

Pitiful pathetic memories today

Forgiveness mercy for what you can’t say

Mistakes illusions that bring cry’s

Neglecting forgetting haunting lies

Knowing, shrewd one last kiss

Yearning, longing eternal bliss

Daniel DeBrun is the current Web Master of the Elektraphrog web site. Daniel will graduate from State College of Florida with an A.A. and plans to transfer to one of the area’s art schools to pursue a degree in Web Design and Interactive Media. Daniel is father to the most amazing two boys on the planet, Austin and Aiden, and has almost been married for two years. He has been part of a “Three Time State Champion” wrestling team (placing third individually), spent three years working avionics on the B-1b Lancer, B-52 Bomber, and the B-2 Stealth bomber for the United States Air Force, and spent a few years working in casinos in Las Vegas as a Blackjack and Roulette dealer. Daniel has also done Hollywood extra work in a movie called “Race to Space” starring James Woods and Annabeth Gish, and recently took on the leading male role at Lemon Bay Playhouse in the stage performance, “Cheating Cheaters”. He currently works as a student assistant in the remedial reading and writing lab, and in the computer information systems lab for State College of Florida (Venice). Daniel is proud to be part of State College of Florida’s online literary arts magazine!

Fallout – Two Days East of Barstow

by Maria Spelleri

Isotopic sand from Trinity radiates in my shoes and

suddenly I remember cancer runs in my family.

Nothing good can come from trapping gluons

between my toes- there’ll be shriveling, disengagement,

and on top of that now karma’s gunning for me too,

thanks to the bugs, their colossal juiciness,

(attributed to secret nuclear testing),

macabre colliding particles,

smacking out taunts on my windshield “goes ’round, comes ’round, goes ’round comes

’round.”

Of course in these parts they must suspect something,

with the tremors and occasional two-headed calf

which never lives long although

a photo at the Arco showed one did make a decent road side attraction

over a long 4th of July weekend.

But now no one is slowing down long enough to get a look

at a Navajo John the Baptist, his faded sign warning

of the apocalypse,

still as a cigar store Indian and easy to miss

in the shade of a billboard reading

“Wal-Mart 2 miles north,”

apparently some sort of homing device ’cause every pickup veers toward

the off ramp, while on their sticky seats

bare-legged pregnant girls sip 64 oz. sodas and

shift uncomfortably with

the feeble kicks of their underweight babies, asking

the boys sitting next to them do you still love me even though

I’m ugly now, and the boys in damp undershirts check their rear views,

cough up some phlegm, and wonder if the recruiter

(who promised Germany or the Philippines),

got their proof of GED yet.

I know this, you see; it’s in

the fallout, the steady wind, the coppery taste in the back of my throat.

Meanwhile I feel my toes warming up, and like a hot air balloon

escaped from its mooring…..I rise,

arms straightening, hands releasing,

now just fingertips touching

lightly on the steering wheel….

Note to self: FOCUS.

Which I do- on the dividing line,

a wavering yellow tongue uncoiling from

deep within the mouth of iron-crusted mesas,

where scattered mobile homes jut rusted and

bleeding from the dust with the sudden asymmetry of

a meth addict’s smile. I punch the radio but

the distant ghost voice who promised salvation

has abandoned me to astral static, and

I try not to look at something dead

on the side of the road even though

it’s rather large.

Maria Spelleri teaches in the Language and Literature Department of the State College of Florida.

That Scene Still Lingers

by: Adam Gadomski

In the cemetery is where I found you,
Once again crying for the one you lost.
The tears you cried, the breaths you drew
Fell silently on a small wooden cross.
I stood for a moment, sharing your grief,
Because a part of that pain was my own.
Then I crouched next to you, put my lips on your cheek,
Then we stood together and walked home.
That scene still lingered in the back of my mind
Long hours after you fell asleep.
And in that moment I could search, but not find
The peace I so wanted to keep.
So, I turned in my bed and tried to forget
The visions that plagued me with pain.
“It’s time to move on; no time for regrets,”
But still no sleep could I gain.

Adam Gadomski is a student at the State College of Florida.

Hookah Smoke

by Chelsey Lucas

I
inhaled twice
and felt my mind t i p
and touch the
e
d
g
e
of the
universe.

It was beautiful.

She was curved and disproportionate in a fashion similar to ocean waves
r e a c h i n g
for the sky, the moon, the night; the satellites
of Her eyes shone and sent mixed signals to my
lips, my hands, my skin – all goosebumped and intoxicated –

I

felt the shape of Her hair, Her spine, the
l i n e o f Her c l a v i c l e
I felt Her tremble beneath the weight of my fingertips
– a ripple beneath the looking glass water interrupted;

a meteor shower through the atmosphere, She let me in

I

swam in Her warmth, surrounded in Her
I fell into Her black holes and surfaced for air
I lifted and twisted against the absence of gravity – the (s)urge to gratify –
to hold Her.
To stay.

Exhale: I watched Her f a d e.

Chelsey Lucas is a first year student at SCF, and a lover of English, art, and expression.


All Over You

By Cherstin Haga

 
The pavement was hot and rough
 
against the bare soles of my feet
 
and, in my hand, a letter. The
glare from the stark-white paper bounced to my eyes,
burning the impression of my words against the backs of
my retina, and it was my handwriting, as I’m
writing this now, with
black pen, typical, letters sharp and precise. The
paper had been cut into a triangle, covered in words I’d
not yet written. I told myself the end of you
before I knew the truth.
You were a thorn, rigid in beauty, alive in pain,
and I would scratch my surface on
your side, leaving me torn and broken.
We’d hold each other’s hand, promises of together
blown over thick, green landscape until they reached
the place where the rocks began, our whispers bouncing off
the jagged terrain, splitting promises into nonsensical ideas,
things that we’d never say out loud.
You would become an anchor, hard, heavy, not to hold me
steady in a sea of uncertainty, not shelter in a storm, but a
weight that would never let me rise. Water would billow my hair
in the rhythm of your wave, your tide, face swollen reflecting
only the light you’d let reach me, and I gave up gasping for
air a long time ago.
I held my letter, my words cold and immovable on the clean
paper, and I remembered how to walk inside, one foot after the other.
I walked to the shelf in the bedroom that held our wooden memory
box, and when I lifted the lid, you were gone.

Cherstin is a thinker, part-time student, writer, full-time mom.

Purged

2-3 Dave Matthews Band cd’s

1 boy

1 cancer

1 mom

1 girl

1 glass bottle of GHB, kept hidden in the bedroom

1 refillable bottle of morphine, prescription

alcohol to taste

1.)  To a sauté pan, add 1 cancer and 1 mom.  Sauté for a few years until mixture turns pallid.  Remove from heat and set aside.  (Note:  This will make the 1 terminally ill mom needed for steps 3 and 4.)

2.)  In a large saucepan, slowly combine 1 boy and 1 girl.  Cook over high heat, stirring constantly until blended.  Allow mixture to come to a rolling boil.  Add 1 Dave Matthews Band cd.  Cover and cook for 12 months.

3.)  Remove lid and reduce heat to medium.  Add 1 terminally ill mom (from step 1) and stir violently for 3 months.  Add alcohol to taste.  Remove from heat and allow mixture to cool overnight.

4.)  Once mixture has cooled and hardened, use a spatula to skim off the top layer and discard.  (This was the 1 terminally ill mom.)

5.)  Attempt to warm the remaining mixture over low heat.  Once melted, beat in 1 glass bottle filled with GHB, 1 refillable prescription bottle of morphine, and alcohol to taste.  Then add a dash more when no one is looking.  (Note:  If a thicker sauce is desired, add 1 Dave Matthews Band cd.)  Return heat to high.  DO NOT COVER.  When mixture reaches a boil, immediately remove from heat and strain out 1 girl, leaving all other ingredients.  Set girl aside.  Let mixture sit for 10 years.

6.)  Recheck the mixture.  IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO MAKE SURE ALL LIQUID HAS EVAPORATED.  What is left after 10 years is 1 man.

7.)  Very slowly, add the 1 man to the 1 woman.  (Note:  the woman is the girl who was strained out and set aside 10 years ago in step 5.)

8.)  Toss and enjoy, remembering that forgiveness is an acquired taste.

Goodnight

Closing class but no bell to tell of knowledge ending.

Too late to absorb even the most free of substances.

Justin playing his part directed by the one who believes

That the best possible way to get a-

Head down striving not to be a part

Of this reality not called life.

Waiting is a funny game where everyone else laughs

The fun is being had by everyone but you.

To be or not to be is not our question.

We sit still in silence, but making a great wave.

What tsunami are we learning about?

Does it matter? Both are killing heavenly created beings.

At this point what does it matter? Who matters to you?

Do I matter?

Let the sun brighten my past so I might slip unseen into a darker tomorrow.

Stop worrying about what is and what will be, because I am and always will be.

Picture it, surfing down the very division of day and night,

And we say,

“Let there be light”

“Let there be light”

“Let there be light”

The blood stains being erased by the murderer himself.

Who will tell me I am or am not? Who will I listen to?

Were you the conductor of that midnight train?

And if not, will life itself play its own refrain?

Put a basket on my head and what do I see

But the woven ancestry of fallen angels.

The god of sun and moon could not save them.

What will you perceive as truth when this all is done?

Life ends when I put down this pen and this all is done.

Goodnight moon

Goodnight earth

Goodnight sun…

Our Generation

Our generation will never amount to more than the sins of our fathers.

And every so often a ray of light shall be bred from the evil that is this world,

Only to be crushed under the heel of darkness, that plagues this earth.

And yet no one will remember the great man that once was,

But only the dramatic fall of the hero who was consumed by fire.

Still we’ve seen empires fall and still we join in their failures,

Rather than learn from them.

But why do we do the things we do?

To cope with such a foul hand that God has dealt us,

While a newly conceived baby will never see the light of day?

Because everyone else is doing it,

And we have this dire need to fit in that has been instilled in us since birth?

Or is it because that we are weak and succumb to the vices

That have constricted this world like a venomous serpent

since the beginning of time, when all we must do is

Rise above it and take charge by the horns of hell

And drive it back to the depths of which it once came.

For all people who still hold a torch of hope for this world,

Nothing has changed,

Nothing will change,

As long as sons and daughters disappoint their parents,

Then there is no chance of returning from the abyss.

And as bleak as that is, it’s true

For the History of man has repeated itself

Time and time again.