By: Elwood McClarity
God’s angry.
We are all sinners.
He’s gonna have to kick the shit out of somebody.
But the heavenly Father is also reasonable and loving.
He doesn’t want to have to kick the shit out of EVERYONE.
So he sent his son Jesus, who never did anything wrong.
God kicked the shit out of Jesus so he wouldn’t have to kick the shit out of us.
As it is written in the good book, “Better him than me.”
And so we give thanks to the Father,
Who demonstrated his divine justice by beating an innocent man to death.
By the way, if you don’t accept God’s love, he’ll torture you forever.