After the shot the doughboy ripped off his baker’s hat
and ran to the dressing room holding his stomach
hoping his intestines would stay in place
before he got to the dressing room door he heard
max, the photographer
GREAT JOB DOUGHBOY
It’s Sam, not doughboy
After slamming and locking the dressing room door
Sam felt his stomach again
one more time one more time i’m gonna lose it
i can’t fake it anymore
Sam slipped out of his white costume
looking at his naked scarred body
five hernias and counting
Three hours after Sam entered his dressing room
the photographer knocked on the door
doughboy, you gotta get outta there
doughboy OPEN UP
Sam turned on the toaster oven, setting it to 450 degrees
won’t take long, maybe I should grease the pan
he looked in the mirror and poked his own stomach
no laugh, the pain was too much
another hernia
Another knock on Sam’s dressing room door
Doughboy, it’s Aunt Jemima and i’m PISSED
OPEN UP BEFORE I CALL THE FCC
is your stomach hurting again
The doughboy opened his door and let Aunt Jemima in
i can’t do it any more, the giggling
it hurts too much and i’m not getting paid enough
besides i hate cooking
one more person pokes me I’ll bite
You think you have it bad, Aunt Jemima pointed to her head
look at this damn perm
you think I wanted a perm Hell no i did it for
the people and the money
i miss my handkerchief this perms just not me
Well you don’t have tons of people jabbing you in the gut
i like the perm, makes you look modern
leave me alone I have to bake myself
Doughboy, you tried this last year, we don’t have a choice
we have to survive you know how many would miss us
if we were gone
besides i kinda like being famous
DOUGHBOY Aunt Jemima attempted to open the toaster oven
it was locked from the inside
all she could do was watch
damn he looks good enough to eat