by P.J. German
When the cops found out, all hell broke loose.
Who molested the alligator?
Dr. Hafner was not at all pleased.
It was his pet from St. Petersburg.
The gator screamed, ‘Somebody touched me!’
They first accused Dr. Ford with all
of his dark, crazy, Poe fantasies.
He was quickly ruled out of the crime;
He was busy with Elektraphrog.
Ford said, ‘This would make a great story.’
Could it have been Advisor Snyder?
No. He was in a meeting. He is
always in a meeting, a meeting…
He said, ‘Let’s give it a Baycare card.
They might have a gator outreach plan.’
Perhaps, was it Professor Waters?
But, nay, he was pinning up Einstein
on his wall – the wall of math’ticians.
John said, ‘We should grill up the gator,
if it is traumatized that badly.’
Zaph Manigat? Yes, it has to be!
How else could he get on the website?
He has to be having an affair.
He – the Zaph – said, ‘Hi, my name is Zaph!
Mmmbluh, rrrvuh luh gut shuh luhguss.
After lengthy investigations,
suspects were cleared of activity.
It was later discovered Gator
was molested by a manatee.